Random Acts of Kindness

Hey party people!

I had a fun story that I just wanted to share on here! Well basically today was an amazing day! This morning I went to school only to be met with a dozen roses!! Yes, my adorable boyfriend brought me roses and when I asked why, he just shrugged and said “Just cuz”. So obviously that’s my first amazing event.

Then later I was in class and my friend who knows that I absolutely LOVE mashed potatoes went out to KFC during lunch and brought me a vat of it! So good!! I just sat there eating mashed potatoes like a fatty and no one really judged me. So there’s the second amazing thing.

Then I was in a different class and my friend comes in and says “You like Dr. Pepper, right?” Just a side note, I LOVE DR. PEPPER! Like I could live on Dr. Pepper alone. So basically he says he was thinking of me and gives me a whole can!! As well as a bunch of popcorn!! So the third amazing thing today!
Then after school, my friend was walking around with a whole bag of different types of amazing cookies and just let me have at it. I didn’t even ask why he had them….I just ate a bunch. You guys should seriously consider joining the dark side, their cookies are the bomb!

Then the final amazing thing happened when my boyfriend and I decided to go to Panda Express after school for a mini date. He opened the door for me and kept it open for another lady. The lady went in, observed us for a while, and then said “You know what, gentlemen are hard to come by these days. Would you let me buy your meal?” And we were both kind of shocked. Seriously, just a random stranger! Probably one of the nicest random acts of kindness I’ve witnessed.

I hope none of you thought it was weird that most of these things were about food….Yeah. It’s not weird… But really truly an amazing day! It just makes me wanna go out and do these kinds of things for other people. Strangers, I mean! Maybe I will! I think you all should! And I do have a poem prepared to post, but I’ll post it later!! I promise!! Okay, goodbye for now!

Faith in Humanity Restored,

Sabrina

My Purpose

Is it wrong to love so selflessly, caring for others more than yourself? Because society seems look at my love and call me crazy. Why do you see me so strangely? Is this not the way love is meant to be? To care for them above yourself? So why is it that when I give my time to make someone feel better and happy, I’m called dumb for disregarding my own needs and the things I “need” to do to “succeed”. But don’t they see what true success is? At least to me, success doesn’t come as a letter on a report card or numbers on a paycheck. For me, success comes from making an impact on people’s lives. And that means caring for them selflessly. So go ahead and sneer at me. But you know inside you wonder, what’s in it for her? Why does she treat people the way she does? She looks so sad, so tired. Maybe because I’m empathetic and always try to understand everyone’s feelings. Maybe because I stayed up all night trying to talk to someone and make them realize that someone cares. Yes, I don’t care about myself. You can chalk it up to low self esteem or mixed up priorities, but the truth is, I find my life more meaningful in the way that I choose to live it, not the way I am told to live it.

Sorry I didn’t start this the way I usually do. Something my parents said got me thinking and I just had to rant. Sorry!

And as I mentioned before, I’m going to try to post more poetry on here. So keep an eye out for that.

Anyway, I hope you’re all doing fantastic!! Have a great day!

Your Helpful Blogger,

Sabrina

The Problem with Love

Hello everyone!

Lately, I’ve just been in the mood for poetry! And also, lately a lot of my friends’ relationships have been breaking up and that inspired me to write this poem I titled “The Problem with Love”. And then I thought, hey, why not share my poetry with you guys since it’s not like I’ve done a lot of posts lately. So enjoy! And as a side note, this is not some way to say there’s something wrong with my relationship. We’re stil strong as ever, no worries. So here it goes!

Love is patient
Love is kind
Love will make you lose your mind

Love is safe
Love is pure
Love feels like death’s own cure

Love is wonderful
That’s what they say
But what they don’t
Is what you must pay

Love is great
Until one day
It leaves you lost
Alone, without a way

Love is not proud, it does not boast
You go all in and find you’re just chasing a ghost

Love is what can bring you joy
Or so you think until it’s revealed as a ploy

Love is good, it understands
Then you find its raining feelings and the drops go through your hands

Love is happy, there are no frowns
When your world falls to pieces and you feel you will drown

Love is truthful, its never vain
When the guilt consumes you cause you’ve caused nothing but pain

Love is boundless makes you free
You feel sick to your stomach, consumed with jealousy

Love is passionate, can be your guide
Then it vanishes leaving you empty inside

Love comes easily, don’t try to hard
Your past failures leave you forever scarred

You see, the problem with love, isn’t love my friends
The problem with love begins when it ends

I hope you liked it! That’s all for today! But perhaps I’ll post more of my poetry later if you like it!! Talk to you later!

Your Poetic Cynic,

Sabrina

Overwhelmed!

Heyooo,

As some of you may remember from a few of my last posts, I’m now a senior! That’s right. And it’s been a whole month since school started, and trust me, I’m already feeling it.

I feel like so many people had lied to me telling me how Senior year would be the bet and most laid back year. Well, it wasn’t necessarily a lie. That very well might have been true for them. But I chose the other path and let my tell you, I am STRESSED OUT!

I feel like there’s so much going on right now! Aside from family issues going on that I don’t feel like getting into, there’s the whole dilemma with friends. You see, I don’t exactly have a friend group, I’m just friends with random people and most of them aren’t friends with each other and of course that causes problems when it comes to any sort of event. For example, at lunch I might find someone I know to eat with, but that person has their own friend group and I feel like the odd man out. And it’s the same way with any group I intrude in. This gives a general feeling of loneliness.

There’s a whole other layer of stress that comes from being in a long term relationship. Sure, through it all, he’s my support and my source of relaxation. However, there is a big stress that comes with the happiness of the other person. If there is something wrong or something  going on with that person, it feels like that problem is happening to you as well. So if there’s something wrong with one person, it’s like exponential. Someone is sad and the other person gets sad, but then the first person feels more sad because they made their partner sad and it’s a vicious cycle that leads to lots of stress. The problem in this case is that he broke his right wrist. That means that he can’t play his sport (which is like his life) which of course makes him upset and begins the cycle I just described.

Secondly is something I just brought upon myself. And that is school. Most kids decide that since senior year grades aren’t all too important when applying for colleges, they take fewer and easier classes. And then there are people like me, who do their best to pack their schedule with the hardest classes the school can offer. I can’t help it! That’s just the way it’s always been. Regular classes have just been a bore and a burden. So I have 4 APs which isn’t a lot for some people, but I’ve been drowning. I already had to drop a class because I was getting straight F’s and I didn’t want that on my transcript. I know, I’m a coward, but oh well. So yes, there has been a constant flow of reading, and projects, and tests and it’s getting into my head! I’m lucky that many of my classes overlap in what they teach, because if they didn’t, I would be so lost. And going back into how I dropped a class, that means that I just transferred into a completely new class and I’m already SO FAR BEHIND. And it’s stressful trying to play catch up for a whole month of work.

Then there is the idea of APPLICATIONS! Okay, it’s mostly just time consuming. I got most of the basic stuff finished, but what’s really eating at me is…. The essays. Writing about myself?! I know, I know, you guys are thinking that I do that on here all the time, but this is pretty trivial stuff when I want to actually define who I am. I don’t think I even know who I am. And I have to somehow tell some people who have never met me in a mere 1000 words. It’s stressful. For those of you who have gone through the process, I’m sure you agree with me and for those who haven’t, you have something to look forward to (sarcasm).

So yes. I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed. I want to do everything and I want to do everything well, but I’ve put so much on my plate that I feel like I’m cutting corners on EVERYTHING. It’s not Senioritis, I swear! I haven’t stopped trying, I’m just falling behind and that’s a scary feeling.

Thank you so much for lending an ear and listening to my rant! You all deserve great big hugs!!! Well until next time, loves!

Your stressed out blogger,

Sabrina

Love

Hello WordPress users!

Sabrina’s back yet again with another burning message for the masses. And by masses I mean the 3 people who actually read this blog.

I want to talk about love! So have you ever loved someone so extremely much that just the mere thought of losing them makes you physically ill? I consider myself so extremely lucky to have experienced a love this strong in my life.

I’m sure right now you all are thinking “Oh yes. Sabrina told us she was seeing someone romantically, she must be talking about him.” I mean, yes I love him a lot. But this particular post is in fact NOT about him. I want to talk about my best friend.

Some events last week caused my friend and me to get into a fight. It really was a small thing. Misunderstandings and pent up feelings just expanded the situation and suddenly we were pissed. The very existence of our friendship was put into debate.

The effects of this fight were immediately visible. She is a physically weaker girl and the effects were terrible on her. She ended up not coming to school for a few days because the fear of losing me had manifested itself in high fever and some other symptoms. In myself, I also became sick. I was almost constantly shaking and woozy as well as having to make quick trips to the bathroom to avoid spilling chunks on the classroom floor. But I still went to school because 1) I didn’t want to explain to my parents what was wrong and 2) I absolutely HATE missing school.

So yes. It’s a scary thing when something so important that you seemed so sure of becomes questionable. Being the Sabrina I am, I immediately blamed myself. She is so important to me.

In the end, we finally straightened it out. As I said, it was just a big misunderstanding, and though some hurtful things might have been said, those things were things we needed to hear. They were truths about ourselves that we now better understand.

The point of this whole post is to say how thankful I am. How amazing it is to have someone on this earth to be so connected to. Honestly we’ve both worked in ways to better each other and without her, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. And it truly is an amazing feeling, to have someone care about you as much as she cares about me. It really does make me feel like I have strength to face any situation.

So though friendships go up and down, I think they are some of the purist love you will find. We’re sisters and we’ll love each other through it all. Thank you.

Your Faux-Sis,

Sabrina

Lost

Hello my fellow internet users!

It’s Sabrina! That girl you haven’t heard from in almost a year. Sorry about that, needed a little sabbatical with all the school work and other things I had going on, and of course procrastination. This is by no means a promise that I will post more often or anything of that sort, but there was something on my mind that I felt I wanted to share.

Have you ever lost something important to you? I’m sure most of you have. Some sort of object with monetary or sentimental value. Such as earlier this year when I lost a ring given to me by one of my best friends. Or perhaps it was not something, but rather someone. Like a parent, sibling, or friend. Or maybe it wasn’t as much of a physical object rather than an idea. Such as motivation, beliefs, trust, or goals.

It dawned on me the other day, that I was soon to become a senior!! Geez! I started this back in Freshman year when I wrote every day. And now I’m almost done. But a Senior. I was thinking back on my experiences as a high schooler and I got very nostalgic. More than that, I became sad.

I was talking to my parents the other day and they seemed confused about why I would rather spend time with my friends than with them. I said because my friends are always there for me and I trust them more. Hurtful, right? But then again, I’ve never had the best relationship with my parents. They understood, but then they said something that got me thinking. They’re always going to be my parents no matter what, but my friends will come and go.

I thought about all the friends I’ve ever had in my life. And I became sad as their words rang true. I can remember back to preschool. My best friend. I did everything with her. My parents and her parents became closer through our friendship, but as we grew we went into different school systems an became influenced by different people. The next time I saw her she seemed so different, but I must’ve seemed different too. She no longer acted like someone I would want to befriend. And just like that, we grew apart.

My next “best friend” moved to Utah. I never heard from her again after that. Being a youngster I was, I didn’t have an email or cellphone to contact her and like that, she disappeared from my life.

Then a new friend. She was like a sister to me. We grew so close, but then she moved even further this time. To Australia. As she became molded by Australian society she also changed. She grew to become someone I could no longer recognize. And the time difference caused us to not be able to talk until all that could be heard from my so called sister was silence.

Next. Some of you may remember this one from earlier on in my blog if you’ve been following it for a while. I loved her. I was like a growth from her body. I looked up to her so much and she was a great friend. But misunderstandings and just small differences seemed to pile up to the point where everything became a conflict. Then she went to a different school. After that, I barely heard from her. In fact, my entire little posse from middle school rarely talks to me.

Again. A male friend this time. And no this isn’t as cliche as you’d think. The way it ended was because of me becoming interested in someone. And he felt that he shouldn’t be so close to me while I was with someone else. And so he distanced himself. I loved him, but now we pass as almost strangers in the hallway.

I recently had another best friend of an opposite gender. And this one, I’m sure you could foresee. We became so close. I loved him and talked to him for hours. Like my other friends keeping him updated and laughing with him. But then of course the complications arose when unshared romantic feelings came into the equation and I lost him as well.

I felt at this point that I had lost more than just the string of friends. Each one of those friends took a chunk of me with them as they left. I felt barely whole because I lost so much. I had dedicated so much time and effort and love into these people who so easily walked out of my life. I had lost more than my friends. I’d lost myself. I didn’t feel like the same Sabrina that I used to be.

Friends who had promised me they wouldn’t leave. Friends who had made wonderful plans with me for the future. All these friends were now lost. We went out separate ways and will look back on our time together fondly, but it’s over. I won’t ever get the love I gave them back. I won’t ever get the tie I devoted to them back. I won’t ever get that bond we had together back. The only thing I can do is close my eyes and bulldoze onward and hope there is a time when someone who isn’t family can be more than temporary.

It’s sad to think I’ve lost so many people I cared about. From time to time, I try to reach out to them, but I know that it can’t ever be the same. It’s lost. And it makes me sad. But perhaps it’s something I just need to accept.

I know this wasn’t the kind of post you’re used to. But this was just what was on my mind.

So you see, I have this word document where I saved little uplifting text messages, emails, and facebook messages that my friends have sent me. I was looking at it and some of those quotes can still bring me to tears. But what is even more sad is that most of these people won’t even say hi to me if they saw me anymore. Those people who had cared so much about me to send such sweet messages now don’t care to even wave.

It’s all very sad, but through it all I still have the friends I have now. And sure they’re nothing like the friends I’ve lost but they’re unique in their own way. And maybe someday we’ll become strangers again, but in the meantime, I’m going to try my best to enjoy the friendship we have now so that someday I can look back on the time we had together and smile.

Thank you for listening to my little rant!! You guys are the best (though I’m not quite sure anyone’s really reading this anymore) Well I might talk to you later if there’s something on my mind. But for now, goodbye!

Searchin the lost and found,

Sabrina <3

 

Getcho Spook On!

Howdy Doo!

So how were all you guy’s days? I hope they were great. And yes, I really do care, so you can leave a comment. I mean…If you wanna. Wow. What a demanding way to start off a post… Well anywho…

I posted twice yesterday! Y’all should be proud of me. Goodness what a sad life. Well anyway, I was very nearly late to school! Gasp! A cleaning lady was coming to our house today and so my mother spent most of the morning bossing me around and telling me to make my room tidier so it would be easier for the cleaning lady. In my opinion, isn’t that what we pay her to do? Well either way, I got on campus as the first be rang, meaning I had 5 minutes to get across campus. I made it! So hah!

When I’m trying to explain school concepts to my friends, I always go into this really weird mode of talking. I mean, I honestly don’t talk like that colloquially, but I guess I feel like it makes it easier to remember if I use slang I had a friend like that, but she used a lot of curse words. Since I don’t curse, mine ends up more along the lines of: “An inhibitor sows or stops a reaction. They be like ‘NOPE!’ They be competitive of non-competitive. The competitive be like ‘Yo, this be my active site and Imma just sit here and do nothin, blockin all y’all from reactin’ and then non-competitive’s like ‘Yo imma just hook up with this enzyme and totes screw up his activation site. Now y’all can’t hook up. Sucks to suck.'” And yeah… that’s my description of an inhibitor… The more you know.

Other than that, our school’s advanced math class got a little festive and decided to decorate our math classroom for Halloween. Our math teacher is like a millionaire so his room already has some pretty cool decor,  but man, these kids went all out. There were flying bats, singing corpses, bubbling cauldrons, flying demons, and spiderwebs galore. It really was magnificent. To top it all off, they left us a little riddle/ challenge as well. It was something about about “Here’s the demand, lend us a hand. Find the five, and you’ll come out alive” Written on the whiteboard. 5 plastic fingers were hidden around the room. Our period was 2nd to have a crack at it and we found 4 of the 5 fingers. Not bad if you ask me.

You guys! YOU GUYS! I got my Halloween costume today! I wish you would comment guessing what it is (for those of you who I haven’t told yet)

How many of you guys have been looking at the news lately? Okay, I would start going into the government shutdown and all that jazz, but no, this is a comedy blog. So instead I’m going to tell you about how my Spanish teacher makes us report about current events in Hispanic countries. So basically, we listened to news all period. It just truck me that all the news was pretty depressing. I mean, honestly. It was pretty terrible to sit through. Who else has noticed this? I want some happy news!

I’m doing a dance. And by that, I mean yes, a choreographed dance. For a Christmas show. And no, not like in Mean Girls. I don’t roll that way. But basically, it’s going to be difficult. But somehow I’m pretty excited. Eh. I don’t really know anyone else doing it, but should be fun… and tiring. At least I get some form of exercise for once.

In one science class, we did a lab where we had o count cars in the parking lot. Nice little fun fact: I love walking around campus without a backpack. I mean, we have an outdoor campus and so everything i just so beautiful. And of course the weather was nice. My friends and I were just lazing about campus and singing random songs as loud as we wanted.Everyone else was in class so no one could judge us. Gotta say, it was a nice end to the school day.

Hm… other than that, my best friend is turning 18 tomorrow! We’re all getting so old. Officially an adult. I’m busy with prep. Been out shopping for a while. Hence the late post.

I actually have a math test I should be studying for so I’m going to log off for now. I’ll try to post later. Like, comment, and follow if you liked this post!! Also you can ask me a question. ANY question on my ask.fm page with is LINKED HERE. Hope you all have a great rest of the day (though there isn’t all too much left) Bye!

Your Peaceful Procrastinator,

Sabrina